LOLOL

Tuesday, March 4, 2014
CELEBRITIES WHO DO DEAD ON IMPERSONATIONS….OF OTHER CELEBRITIES

(THIS IS HILARIOUS)

MATT DAMON

Ever since "Good Will Hunting" we always knew he was immensely talented. But did you know he can also do a DEAD on Matthew McConaughey impression?!!?…TOO funny.

BRADLEY COOPER

I was never a fan of "The Hangover". But I  remember him waaayyyyy back from  his recurring role in the WB show "Jack and Bobby"!!

...

SIDENOTE: Seriously though…who was NOT in love with "Jack" aka Matt Long at the time…OH MY SWEET LORD...

….ah…where was I? Oh… okay, sorry Bradley…

OR Bradley for that matter!!! (Even though at the time, he seemed, like he could be my father lolol…but seriously…was mom totally cradle robbin' or what….

UFF!!!! BODYYYYY!!!!!! My little 16 yr old self was all like.."what am i FEEELING!?" ...same feeling I got when I used to look at my wall posters (Note: These were LITERALLY my wall posters):

 

 

(and this was my favorite…::sigh:: where are you in my LIFE!?!)

 So uh…yea ...did you know he can do hilarious celebrity impersonations?! Christopher Walken and Owen Wilson tho….

KEVIN SPACEY

Never have I ever been so infatuated with this man….and I've ALWAYS been infatuated with this man. I remember the first time I was IN LOVE with his role in a movie; it was "Se7en". I had already seen "The Usual Suspects" but "Se7en" just GOT me…. and I was COMPLETELY ENAMORED. I thought he was GLORIOUS.

….I was right. 

SIDENOTE: Oh and "HOUSE OF MOTHER EFFING CARDS" Frank Wilson?!….yeah….uhm "Can I have you in my LIFE"

SIDENOTE TO PREVIOUSLY AFOREMENTIONED SIDENOTE:

Okay…so was anyone else on this planet in absolute lust/love with Congressman Russo and all of his hot, HOT, HAWT messiness!? 

...Like, dude, i love you… like, LOVE YOU love you…but like seriously…on some real shit…. get yo life" 

So anyways...Kevin Spacey...HILARIOUS. Who knew!? -- Jimmy Stewart impersonation (DEAD.). Christopher Walken impersonation (DEAD). Marlon Brando (DEAD). Al Pacino….i literally like...almost peed myself haha.

Aaaaandddd...

JIMMY FALLON (of course…)

I think it's safe to say we all knew this was coming…His Adam Sandler and Robin Williams impersonations KILLLLLL me every time though. Gilbert Gottfried is hilarious and the Rice one made me laugh out loud.

Oh! And feel free to post comments!! I literally reply to every single one… because I never get any… 

Thursday, February 13, 2014
PEOPLE WITH KIDS VS. PEOPLE WITHOUT KIDS

You can always tell when someone just hasn't been exposed to children because their reactions to behavior are just COMPLETELY different than those who have them and/or deal with them on a regular basis. It's so adorable, because they have something that people with kids don't have….and that's patience. Because we've bypassed the whole "omg kids are so perfect they can literally do no wrong asdfdsag! omg! so cute!" idealist phase a long time ago.

 See, once you've been hit with this:

and this...

and this...

and this...

and this...

awe.

oh, and this:

and have felt this...

...about a thousand times over….

You quit playin...

So I've highlighted a few differences in how people with kids vs. people without kids…handle kids.

RISKY BEHAVIOR:

What we all say:

"DON'T DO THAT YOU'RE GONNA HURT YOURSELF"
...usually still ends up along the lines of this:








and inevitably turns into this:

People without kids:



People with kids:

"DAMMIT I TOLD YOU…."

WHEN THEY START TO GET HYPER:

People without kids:

"AWE! SOO CUTE!"

                                                                 People with kids:

Because we know this:

Can immediately escalate into this:

And ALWAYS goes too far...

TEMPER TANTRUMS:

Folks without kids:

Folks with Kids:

OBSESSIVELY CLINGY KIDS YOU DON'T KNOW:

"I like you!"

People without kids:

People with kids

…around other people

When everyone's gone…

DEFIANCE:

Folks without kids:

Folks with kids

...in public:

The SECOND you get in the car:

Wednesday, February 12, 2014
CREEPY THINGS ONLY AN ART TEACHER CAN GET AWAY WITH:
(Looking like an axe murderer)

School's out…headed to the store



Checkin out muh items…

Cashier face:

Me:

It's red paint! I swear!



Them:



Me:

Wednesday, February 12, 2014
A DAY IN THE LIFE…
Of An Art Teacher

Me, just getting out of my third class of the day, rushing to get food at the grocery store on my 30min break before my most difficult class:

Because 5 yr olds without recess for a week are all like:

"Hey Miss Danielle!!"

"We're FINISHED!!"

 ME:

Anyways…So I'm at the store…

Kind and Thoughtful Stranger in my aisle: 
"Uhm, excuse me….Miss?"

Me (Annoyed and Rushed...Just wanting to get my food... and bypassing any inkling of social etiquette whatsoever):

Stranger: 

"Uhm, you have a little bit of glitter on your face"

Me (Upon interaction, compensating for my earlier aggression): 
"Oh, haha, I teach, art…thanks for letting me know." 



...walks to bathroom…
(...like a Boss)
…just how I roll

What I imagine I look like…

What I actually look like:

FML!? Was I actually in PUBLIC like this!

Sunday, February 2, 2014

101 RELATIONSHIP STATUSES FACEBOOK NEEDS IN THESE CONFUSING TIMES

I read this Buzzfeed post earlier, "101 Relationship Statuses Facebook Needs In These Confusing Times".

First off -- I pretty much NEVER list mine. And IF I do, I never make it public because I don't want it blasting everyone's news feeds the second I add it to my page....that's embarrassing (to me). And if you ever catch me doing it out of sheer lovestruck zombie stupidity, I would like you to kindly offer me a swift smack in the face should you happen to pass me on the sidewalk. No questions asked.  I will quietly and immediately walk away in shame and delete it, then proceed to buy you a drink with the dignity you saved me -- Now, I don't do this for two reasons:

The FIRST being that the price for that is AT THE VERY LEAST a three letter word delivery. While staring deeply into my eyes. Ambient lighting. Mood music? Rose petals! Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams' rain scene from 'The Notebook' running in the background...

"It wasn't over. It still isn't over!"

Kidding.
But seriously, kiss me in the rain and tell me you love me or something.  I'm a romantic. Damnit.

SECOND and more importantly.. and pretty much the only reason....because I firmly believe that the very millisecond I change my status update to "In A Relationship", by law of the universe, any relationship I have, no matter how amazing or perfect, will IMMEDIATELY and instantaneously proceed to take a sharp rapid hellacious decline into Dante's 9th circle of hell.

Oh, It's science. Just saying. Do your research...(there is none)

Then you're just waiting it out with someone you hate while you're miserable just so you can give yourself a solid amount of time to have it up before you take it down....

How the fck am I gonna break off this FB status...

So I'm going to compile a list of a few of BuzzFeed's "suggestions" that were my personal favorite aside from the obvious ones such as, "1. Single and READY TO MINGLE!!" because...that's obviously any given weekend.


7. Single, for the first time in years and really happy about it so please don't fuck it up by having perfect cheekbones or smelling really good.

SCREW YOU Ian Somerhalder! I...I forgot what I was saying...

11. In an adequate relationship.

OR the wonderful...

15. In a relationship but please don't let that stop you from flirting with me - I really like it when you flirt with me.

Ba-BAM! 

16. In a relationship with someone whos relationship status is hidden on Facebook and I want to ask them to change it but I feel like it's such a stupid thing I shouldn't care about.

20. In a relationship with french fries.

Hahaha. So true.

27. In the best relationship I've ever been in but can't seem to get happy anyway because that's what being me is like.

But seriously. In this day and age, the added presence of social media constantly enabling people to literally carry their exes around in their back pockets gives relationships an extra dimension of difficulty and at the VERY least complicates things. It's rough out there for couples now a days. People have enough going on without the added bonus of having their business blasted on everyone's news feeds. SO AND SO ADDED A LIFE EVENT: IN A RELATIONSHIP. Damn FB really tho? Thanks.

Oh -- and if you haven't already read it, here's the BuzzFeed Post.